rubbish

I hate to say this, but I still have to. I really got no one, no place to rant. and I'm feeling really very f-up right now.
whr did th awesome go to?
whr did th beautiful go to?
whr did th best go to?
tht 3 words used to be very sweet, pleasant and bringing a very wide and sweet smile. but now? full of questions. everything seems to be fading and gone slowly... th more I dowan it to happen, th more its gg to happen. must it really be lik tht?? must it go this way?
I hate how a bad loser I am,
always not being able to accept all negative things;
always keeping everything to myself;
always worrying abt th bad outcome;
always failing to have th courage to speak out.
and things had to turn out bad.
all because I'm afraid to lose something tht is precious and impt to me..
no more gd and sweet mrng to start with, no more ending my day feeling satisfied.
no more sleeping with a smile.
everyday is nthg but just another gloomy day. so much tht I really hate waking up knowing its another new day.
nthg but just disappointment.
no more 'iloveyou' truely frm th heart,
no more 'imissyou' truely frm th heart,
no more you hang up no you hang up kind of love.
no more manymany kiss.
no more many things to talk.
no more sweet talks.
no more sweet naggings/reminders.
no more being th first who crossed ur mind.
no more being the only one on ur mind.
no more...
everything had came to a stop.
is it just a short break?
or isit gonna be lik this in time to come?
shld I just learn to accept it?
shld I try my best to make it better?
shld I just hang in thr?
shld I continue putting on a mask?
or,
shld I give up?
which is always th least and which Is almost impossible possibility.
I used to feel the happiest, contented and blessed person having a perfect r/s and of cos a happy family, and a few very best friends by my side.
but now, envying is all I feel everyday.
and it really makes me wonder why can some ppl be so successful?
okay, I need to stop if not the list will just go on and on..
tmr will be a better day! right?
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld