I think of us, even when I'm with you.

sighh. how shld I start this post? I've no idea. But I just need to rant.
I feel th fragile-ness of this r/s.
I feel th stranger-ness of this r/s.
I feel th silence of this r/s.
I feel th v dead 'ambience' in this r/s.
I feel tht we're really drifting apart for real.
I feel everything negative.
I even felt tht it might go anytime.
Isit th negligence, lack of communication or what? I really can't think of any other reason.
Why did it become like tht? :(
We used to be v sweet, v close, happy and all.
There's totally no commitment, no excited-ness, no nothing..
Talking abt commitment, what's a r/s w no commitment? makes sense? yup, I was thinking abt it for almost th whole day. Its only less than 2years and there's alre no commitment. I really dare not foresee abt th days ahead. It will fall bad, definitely.
I always thought that these are th few v basic thing in r/s. But no, I'm wrong.
-Being truthful and having 100% of trust. No, not now, but it used to be.
-Avoid doing things your partner dislike. No, it doesn't seems like it. but, it used to be.
-Being th first one who came to his/her mind. Again, it used to.
-A simple yet sweet gdnight to end th day off and have a good night's slp. It used to.
Come to think of it, I haven had a good night's slp for a long time. I haven slept w a smile for a long time. really.
There are times when I really feel like giving up, but I keep myself going, telling myself tht tmr will be better.
When I wake up in th mrng, I'd wish tht it'd be good.
When I sleep at night, i'd hope that it'd be better tmr.
So tonight, im hoping tht it'd be better tmr :)
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sometimes... i really hate how i cant express myself whenever i wan to show someone concern and comfort them.. i really want to say smth to cheer them up and make them feel better. but yet all i could do is just listen to them rant. :(

what you've missed;

yes, these are what you've missed, though they might mean nth to you, i was being lame or retarded. but, i rmbr i used to share these w u before u go to bed or whenever i met w smth interesting during th day. but, now we dont. so coincidentally tht every time i have smth to share w u, on tht particular night, its either u're busy or tired, and you're off w just a gdnite text. you're always the first one i think of, whenever i have smth interesting, or things tht made me happy to share with immediately.
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th cutie bear;

i either wake up to them, or before gg to bed <3 onblur="try href=">when im back from i think sch or smewhr? :/ ;i was learning to eat vege! ;

bang the wall and die.

I.AM.REALLY.HOPELESSSSSSSSS. zzzzzz

i have so much things to do, but im not doing anything....
WHAT AM I DOINGGGG?!?!?!?! OMG. i feel so hopeless! i cant manage my time properly. i cant let my boyf see tht i truely care for him. i do nuts. i know nuts. i rot, slack, eat, slp my day through! can u see? im tht hopeless!
and theres nthg i can do now. i am hopeless, again.

definitely die terribly, if this goes on.
isit gonna be lik that for every of th period?
i thnk i only have myself to blame for today's.

I guess everyone enjoyed their vday ytd!! girls were holding onto flowers, boys holding onto jewellery bags in the streets!! all the pictures and all in fb and twitter! heee.
had dinner at popeyes w th p on sunday, cos he had nights out!! happy yet sad. can only see him for a short while :( but nevertheless, I still enjoyed tht few hours! better thn nthg right!! can't wait for th week to be over..
silly boy got me plushie roses with th same trick of me gg to th toilet and he went to get it!!
I'm still not updating... Ahah too lazy!!

It kinda sucks when you have words which you wanna say, but have the fear of losing it after saying them.
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filled w qns-

i'm kinda tired, but i jus can't go to bed! :( imissp, imissmyboyf, imissmydarling, imissmrleo, imissyouyouyou! omgggggg. I feel so bloody uneasy!
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dead

omgggg, my blog is so so so very dead! so busy w cny helping mum these few days! and busy w sch for the past weeks. can't wait for cny! but on a side note, I don't quite! cos things were not gg well! :( I got a big pimple/or wtv it is just btwn my mouth and nose, and its still not gg away before cny :( ugly max!! and my fringe haircut was screwed too!! abit too short :( grr. I'm jus looking forward to spending time w th p. cos right aft cny on mon, its again 2 weeks of confinement!! boo :( thn aft tht for few consecutive weeks p's gg kayaking on both weekends till evening! as good as no weekends! okay, I shall stop complaining. I just dyed my hair again on my own! Hope it will be good! K ill be back w my uss post and cny aft cny! 2 weeks of holiday frm mon!! ^^ can't wait to wear my cheongsam!! hee :p
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really dunoe hw long more can I hold, I'm always very tempted to say it out cos I really cnt endure anymore!! :(
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