something about love

love is suppose to be beautiful, i thought?
being in love and being loved is suppose to be smth happy.
you hv someone t share ur unhappiness, ur happiness, ur problem, be thr for you, doing things together, etc.
but no, i see love being complicated more than anything else. why ah?
why must ppl complicate it when it can be very simple? 好好爱不是没事？thn have a happy ending. why must any one be greedy be playful and hurt another? seriously i dont get it and i can never get it.
i seem to be v against about love lately ._. im too afraid of losing, im too afraid things'd go out of hand. i dread hearing/knowing things are nt the same anymore or th love is fading or the distance is drifting too apart and so on.
but im probably worrying too much, making things worse. im really helpless and lost! D:
ive been ranting abit too much lately :(

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confused.

kept having mixed feelings lately and ive no idea why :( but im like so upset most of the time. why ah. princess is suppose to be a happy gal! not lik that! i miss being very cheerful and active like th past w/o worrying anything :(
i was knocked hard with what was happening lately. and all i can feel was being worried + upset. tht kind of feeling is just hard to describe.

i miss you, p.
i want your big hug.
i want to watch tv in your arms.
i want to snack w you.
i want to see you smile.
i want to look at you from the side when you're driving.
i want to eat with you.
i want to finish the last spoon of food with you.
if only u can teleport frm tekong to here now and give me a hug! :(


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i miss you, badly.

its only tuesday! and i alre felt like ive nt seen th boy for a week. :(( i miss you like x1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 u noe?!?!
work wasnt gg well tday! i spent half of my time thr waiting. waiting and waiting. forever waiting. hai.
creative w sis ytd mrng thn dad jus drop us at westcoast before gg off for some errands. trimmed our brows and home ourselves! had macs for brunch! :))

i'll try to make things right. i need you more than air when im not with you. i just cant get enough of you.

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bastards..

bastards fooling bhind their gf ought to be shot dead. srsly. worse, when caught still acting blur. wtf?
has fooling bcoming a trend nowadays? or isit just their forte, but we just dint realise it till nw. ppl thinking tht there are still gd guys out thr are definitely naive, and i fall under tht catogary. fish them. why want to do things lik tht to hurt ur galf?
calling another gal, texting another gal, going out w another gal, clubbing unethically. what nonsense are these??
dont make sense at all. these are definitely too much. clown. jokers. making a fool only.
have alre one pri sch fren commit suicide cos of love. why?
and another caught her boyf fooling. what is happening??
in th first place don even get a galf if u wan to fool.
when caught, jus be truthful, cos u'll get a high chance being forgiven. hateful tards :(
i cnt emphasize hw angry i am, hurting much. i know hw it feels. i totally felt it before.

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asdfghjkl

its 12pm nowwwwww! and im still nua-ing on my bed! :/ i dowan to wake up cos i dunoe wht to do :( th weather looks hot for me to go for a run. ahhh. someone kill me pls. non stop whining! k la shut up.
was all dressed up, planning t hit th town for hangover 2 and probably a lil shopping ytd but as usual la failed, sian. th boy looks v tired aft kayaking and if i still pulled him along i'd be really inhuman. always did planning but things wont work according to it. shall not plan anything th nxt time, before i disappoint myself. went amk hub instead for fairprice shopping, some window shopping and koi. k la, at least satisfy my craving for koi! saw this bedrm slippers at artbox so cutesy! :( shall get it th nxt time! really like it alot. had been trying to find a nice one! home at 11plus and thr goes my sat &
sun. hai. nxt week's another busy weekend. and still counting.. *yawns
upset for almost th whole day when i noe i cant meet th boy tday cos he had t book in early. but thr's nth i can do. could only watch my day gets nearer n nearer to ending. hai. first wkend is always v impt to me cos it is just like a making up time for building what's lacking/missing in tht 2 weeks. but no, always fail.

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sian ahhhhh.

i donoe hw many times hv I repeated this 2 words! :/
im so in love w them both! and I cnt decide :(
both, can?

I'm still nt aslp despite feeling kinda tired! and I'm a lil hungry instead! grrr. so engrossed w angrybird tht I think I won't stop if I dint receive th boy's text! kills time and boredom! no driving tmr, shld I go t work? :( no right? its flydayyyyy! I'm just too lazy! D:
I just told myself just nw tht I must be a happy gal tnight. I want a happy flyday! I want to happy until I can fly! and nw, I'm feeling restless again. I sense smth nt right.. ohwell. I'm not surprised. my fridays are screwed ever since I dunoe when. bahhh.
Nana ah nana. When are u coming bck! I want to talk to you badly!! I want to share all my angry's, upset's, and happy's( is thr even any? ) with you!! :(
I want to eat scooby doo with u! and look and laugh at the cartoons before putting them in our mouth! I want to finish them up like hw u keep asking me to! I want coloured tongue aft eating! ohmanz!

不开心时，谁知道？
不开心时，谁能了解？
不开心时，谁能给我肩膀靠？
如果连自己也不要帮。。 那， 谁也帮不了你！

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whts wrong w me :(

as usual me overslept and snoozed for an hour again zz! waking up in th mrng seems to be a problem to me nw :(
reached office a lil later tday cos th train was so crowded and stuffy tht it made me v uncomfortable! i couldnt breathe properly at all. wanted to try enduring and see if ill feel better but it just got worse only! and worse felt like shitting! lucky i made th decision of alighting to get sm rest first before continuing my journey. went t th nearest toilet and refresh myself, felt so much better! bck t board th train and th feeling was bck again but it wasnt tht bad this time! so scary! cnt imagine what'd happen if i continue th journey! work. home. dinner. and here i am waiting for th boy. think im not lazy to update only when im waiting :p
daddy's an asshole this evening!
i was washing th dishes aft dinner. and they saw something princess on th tv.
and daddy said 'princess'
'yes, u calling me?'
'princess need to wash th dishes one meh'
cnt stand him!
was feeling rather upset these 2 days and ive no idea why! :( grr. just couldnt feel happy and my everday seems gloomy...

'if u really love someone, u'd do anything for him/her. even if tht is the least enjoying thing, u'd still do without complaining'

too good! :)

th boy made sunday a good one! with everything planned nicely and a surprise :) so rare of him ._. lol. and th day goes....
he booked out in th mrng and LIE to me tht he needs to meet someone for a short while. but he actually spent an hour going taka to get me a nike running tights, a sports bra and a sunflower! heh. thn back t cine cathay to get movie tickets for kungfu panda! thn... he came t look for me. he keep smiling and smiling the moment we met outside th corridor all th way t th carpark! i tot he v happy see me LOL. thankyou, b for th efforts! (: appreciated!<3
we headed back to p's for lunch and of cos rest for himself! poor boy dint hv a proper slp for th previous night cos he's on duty! and th v active him obviously dint manage to slp ._. had dinner and we headed to cine for movie! late again! hahah. i rmbr we used t be kinda punctual way bck before! but we're always late recently! :p shopped a lil aft th movie and back home! :)) ended our day shopping ntuc fairprice finest at tripleone somerset! lol! buying toothpaste toothbrush and maggie! hahaha so retarded cnt stop laughing whenever i tot of it! 'i go orchard ntuc' hshha sound stupid manz!
kept feeling dehydrated these days! :( no amt of water is enough!! mommy says i might be falling sick soon! noooo D:
omggg jus realise i dint publish my post this evening!
im so tired tday tht i cnt stop yawningggg. tired tired tired! fell aslp right aft dinner!! and mummt woke me up twice :/

you dont know..

driving was bad tday :< can feel like im hopeless t the instructor alre.. so badly affected tht i cant drive properly.. no wonder ppl always says dont drive when u dont feel alright. mood affects driving alot.. :< hai.
was feeling so damn annoyed last night :@ and mum had t add on keep pressing me abt my degree. i srsly dowan to study for th sake of you and for the sake of money. i wan to study bcos i really want to. only lik tht thn will i enjoy studying and put my heart into it. money sometimes dont hv th power to force myself to do certain things.
really need t quickly get a job and decide my route again..
nth is right. nth is perfect. im willing to giv in, forgive and forget. but are you willing to change?
thankyou b, for all those sweetie words last night. it kind of made me cheerup and smile though it made me teared. thankyou for assuring me you're with me no matter what happens, where i am. i love you always and as much. and im glad you're facing ur NS positively now and at th same time having to make me happy i noe its not easy. thankyou my love. thankyou my pillar. thankyou for standing strong. thankyou for letting me know i still hv you to rely on. thankyou, my awesome boy <3

brrr

im freezing in th office!!! my week started good! cos i had dinner w th p on mon <3
working for cousin at AIA since monday! i like work here! free and easy :p and always no one else is ard! can slack a lil when i feel tired! hehe. my diet is back being unproper :( had only a meal a day and th rest of th day i survived w a bread and a cup of milo. will i slim down like tht?? hahahh. hate th fatty me :< seeing th boy so hardworkingly running makes me v v v v guilty! :/ hehe.
so upset tht i din manage t th clutch frm hh! so scary! its sold out like within 3secs? i camped for 15mins before th launch!! :( k nuff said. back t work!
hehe and received a one word text frm th boy just!! happy much! <3

last day of sch!

yupp, friday is officially th last day of sch!! cool or wht. heeee. been awaiting this for v long! had th last paper and th classmates decided to hv th last gathering at neverland tht night! oh guys.. they really go nowhere except drinking! smth tht always came to their mind first.. it was a really short time for me to decide whether to go anot when I knew it was a class gathering instead of just an outing w th clique! and worse w ftt th next day!
was really struggling on my way home. my phone cnt hv peace! classmates keep texting and asking each other! lol! and some trying hard to physco me to go! was v halfhearted, srsly :( yes, bcos its th last gathering! really definitely nt gonna meet again until probably on th streets one day coincidentally? hhaha. and no, bcos of th boy, and ftt! got a reply frm th boy and felt rather relieved :) thankyou p! till nw still feeling a little guilty even though I've went! cos th boy and momsy were really worried tht night! :( and yet I felt satisfied tht I went, hahaha. was really fun! cos of all th different side of ppl we see and they were really funny! few frens and I drank only a little and we were all watching show and laughing at ppl! lol! played games + take photos + watching the drunk clowns and th time passed amazingly fast! th boy texted jess nt to let me drink too much aft we reach some time. too sweet <3 <3 hehe. th boys were really horrible gg such place, I pity their galf :( hai. too much. left th place at ard 2am and had prata for supper at 3am! wasted almost an hour bcos of 2 clowns! vomitting non stop and they really cmi la. cnt walk properly and nt sober, wa cui. lmao. ended up hving t send them hm and wasted more time which results to me reaching hm quite late at abt 4am!! :(
thankful t tht sweet couple jess & jeff came to pick me and send me home too! too good ^^ hehehe.
and I really see th awesome side of frens ard me aft tht night! :))
they really caring manz! constantly checked if I'm fine throughout th night.
few others were asking if I'm hm yet even though they know fren is sending me home. and 2 were texting me this mrng t check if I'm awake for my ftt!! and one of them is treshie!! hehehe ty all my awesome fwens!! <3
another one funny sia. hvn start my ftt ask if I passed alre nt lol! ganjiong only!
heng I passed my ftt w tht little time spent studying or rather as good as nvr study! haha. all I studied were kinda useless :( dint come out lol. don't even noe what I'm studying. It was supposed to be a good and happy news. but it apparently dint turn out to be :(
mum picked me up at jurongeast station and home. ate brunch, picked sis and off to causewaypoint to collect smth frm her fren! :) shopped a lil and dint get th cute bedsheet for th boy cos I was really tired to walk bck and get it :( shall get it another day! home. dinner. and I fell aslp! tht explains th awake me nw! boo :(
missing th boy much. yet I can't do anything. sigh.
why no surprise bookout? :(
distance btwn us seems to be wider every each time. grrr.
hate this hate this hate this! hw many more times of these to go?! hai.
hahaha I just realise I took one and half hour just for this damn post lol!
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driving in the mrng at 8am! goddddddd. damn early! im so tired frm doing the parking again and again! park till i really feel like slpg :( home and town with sissy on tuesday! went sch to hand in my assignment and shun bian go shopping abit w sissy! hehe. had marche for brunch. shopped at 313 for awhile and home as sissy bought smth frm ikea and they're coming at ard 3! met mum in the bus and hm tgt. hungry again and i cooked sme maggie! :/ and napped!! haha totally feel like a pig! but im really tired :( woke up, and had dinner thn bck to slp again! lol!
woke up nearly 1pm on wed! heh. pig i noe. but im really tired lah! everyday like not enough slp thn keep procrasinating my tiredness. okay enough complaining! hahahh. went down and bought brunch w sissy. played my iphone the rest of the time till im tired and napped again! hahahah.
woke up late again this mrng! lol! cooked brunch for sissy and myself. studied, thn decided to go opposite market to walked ard and see whats thr! bought a few things. home. dinner and continued studying! hope ill do gd! ftt on sat :( have not started yet too! haiii.
had been taking late night shower these few days despite the cooling weather! but the wind is making me sticky :( k bye! shall continue studying!
its fri tmrrrrrr leh! tsk! normally i'd meet the boy for dinner or if not will be looking forward excitedly to meet him on sat! but nooooo! boo! :( why must hv confinement :((( sucks! miss th boy much <3

haven been updating! omgz :/
its kinda productive for the past few weekends.
went kayaking on of the both weekends! hehehe. passed my 1star!! cannot help but to laugh how i want to chicken out when i knew we had to do smth rather challenging but i still manage to overcome it!! thanks to th boy and my new made fren thr!! :)) she's always thr to tell me i can do it and non stop cheering for me when i did it! teehee. nice gal! badly bruised over my hands and legs, hands badly burnt too!
went RSAF open house aft the last day of kayaking! its crazyyyy, not bcos of the open house. but its bcos of the after! imagine aft the 2 day course and we had to walk from paya lebar air base to the nearest tai seng station. plus im having a bad ache and was feeling rather tired tht day! siao man! zzz
had a pretty long weekend w the boy! he booked in on tues night and booked out again on thurs evening! lol! shiok ttm! heeee. as usual met the boy for dinner tht night. and th next day, we met to hv brunch. sch aft tht as i hv lesson. the last day of sch!!! (Y) the last day ended good! hehehe cos i hv th boy to send me to sch and pick me up frm sch! :p took photos with the classmates too :))
went SIM open house on saturday. was supposed to watch movie and shopping at town cos of GSS but yeah, unfornately it failed! whats new? ended up rotting and did a little work.
accompanied the boy to his leg and paddle race on sun mrng. and hahahah it was raining damn heavily! LOL! race haven start rain alre! suay or what? swear i was freezing while waiting for th boy to go get umbrella from the car! zz we left when the rain got heavier and had breakfast w p and fren. thn bck to p's! dinner at night with p & the usual grp of frens. thn holland v and home!
met the boy this mrng and had breakfast. thn continue doing my uncompleted work. the boy received a call and had to book in early :( so sudden and rushing la! omgz. hai. still tot we could go catch a movie or a short shopping trip.. oh well :( sian!! ended our last day lik tht. how can?! he's goona be confined again for 2 weeks!!! ahhhh!! hate this period of time! boo! :(
okayyy, shall upload my pics another day!
just finished my assignment and i need to go bathe nw!
bye!