ugly truths

nothing can describe th pain im in now. you dont know hw hurting are those truths. i wish it was jus a dream.

1)
never knew meeting up on a wkday is sucha tough thing. seeimg u on a fri
its a bonus. its nt a genuine 'i-want-to-meet-you'
so i shld count myself lucky if i get it and cnt complain if i don get it. and only today thn i get to know it.

2)
thinking tt ur boyf dint meet you bcos he's busy. but truth is he rather meet his fren for gym.

somtimes im thinking why am i so un-important?
what must i do to make u love me more?
what must i do to be ur priority?
what must i do to be th first one you always think of?
what must i do??

i really can feel my heart bleeding aft these two incident. this is how heart -breaking they are.


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Location:Boon Lay Dr,Singapore,Singapore

speechless

yes im speechless. it has alre gone t th extend whr i really dontwant to say anything and let it be. cos since if it still remains th same aft saying thn whats th point, right?

sick for th whole week and i had as much rest as i could, eat in moderation, really control myself, jus t have a speedy recovery for wkends. but.. ahh. wadeva.

was really quite looking forward to have a relaxing and happy wkend like how everyone else is having it, though i have nth in mind. but i ended up rotting th whole day away at home waiting, doing nth. whats new?

k need t stop whining before i sound like some old aunty! driving tmr! see, like i say, smth'd always happen t make me upset th night before. it will happen v coincidentally jus th night or th day before.

dontknow why, but nth seems to be gg on smoothly ever since i moved here.

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th biggest mistake

i dont know how long more are we gonna be lik tt. it jus makes everyone unhappy upset and mad at each other. tht strange feeling tht lost and helpless feeling tht speechlees feeling jus made everything worse. maybe i shldnt even flare up and jus tolerate it thru like always, it'll go in awhile.
why can things get better and remain as it is? th wk is ending. it doesnt seems to get better and i really dontknow wht to do..

will u tell me u love me if u still do?


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boo!

hate how it tears us apart! boo :<

jus realise i haven been blogging for v long! my everyday is jus slp eat work! ohmanz. this is th 3rd week im wkg alre! time is passing way too fastt. and best thing is, im late almost everyday without knowing tt thr'll be a pay cut ._. zomg. k tt aside.

had hiccups for almost th whole day ytd! on and off. so irritating. and its v v loud when ure talking and u sudd hiccup with ur mouth open. 1 of my colleague actually tot i burp!!! hahaha omg. im such a joke! thn this 2 gals decided to give me a scare to help my hiccup to stop! and it amazingly works!!!! hahah. lunch tday was so horrible tt i dint had a gd lunch! and was feeling hungry before knocking off :( terrible. need t keep sm snacks t standby!

many things had happen t p and i for th past few weeks but im gald its over and we're doing fine nw. pls pls pls i hope things will really be fine. really dontwant anymore of those. its like a nightmare! ohgod.

aiming 1 v pretty wallet nowz! kept looking at th pictures everyday!!! thinking if i shld get it! hahaha. cos im kinda sick of long wallets and it kinda heavy :( hnmm...

k bye gtg go rest/sleep! if nt ill feel sleepy at work tmr!
flyday tmr!! :>

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th saddest time

literally broke down ytd. really cnt control anymore. cnt stop crying and crying and thinking all th negative things. like how'd i be like w/o th boy. and all th unhappiness happening adding on made it worse. eyes were v v v sweollen this mrng! boo :( thankgod for the eye drop. kept using it trying to make it better.
realise im bcoming more n more possessive. i dunoe why too :( i selfish-ly wan every hr min sec. hai. really really v afraid of losing you.. its gonna be terrible :(
p, im sorry.. sorry for all the unhappiness lately sorry for all the conflicts sorry for all the things caused by me D: hai.
suddenly feel v afraid of losing you.
if only we could reset things at times like hw we reset games.. i'd still want to be with the boy, butt ill make it better..
done w first day of work as a logistics officer!! from logistics coordinator to logistics service coordinator to logistics officer. so confused w all the names! learn quite a lil stuffs tday. but rot for almost 3/4 of th day doing nth! even have th time to take a short nap. too relaxed!

first full time work!

yay, i got a job at cwt just ytd aft interview! cool or whattt. no more interviews to go!!! had being gg ard for intervews th past few days. but im glad i have sis w me for th first one! :) hee.

im so bored at p's nw! :( waiting for th boy to remove his bandage! took a few photos and like this best :D


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back!

back to this space aft so long! nth much happened lately. finished work at cousin's. accompnied p everyday. its jus eat, rot and do nth all day. bck to gaining weight :< fatty me. p got my resume done for me and we applied for a few jobs! but all of them wasn't suitable :( gotta hunt for more. butttt im lazyy :/ desperately need a gd pumps now! cant wait to go aldo and take a look! been t centrepoint's once but dint know hw to appreciate shoes :p both i own now are damn chui alre! one alre spoiled at th front :( jus had driving on thurs n fri. done w parrellel parking!! so happy. cos i tot its th most difficult part but amazingly no! still quite careless on road though! keep forgetting same stuffs :/

i kept thinking and looking forward for things to get better, but no. i see it getting worse.

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too late.

credits to xiaxue!

i find what she say kinda true. especially th part when she says tht men cheat cos they think they wont be caught. and tht cheating is just like cancer, you wan to win it, you cure it early before its all too late.

i really nvr expected and i cnt belive it. it has nvr came across my mind tht such things'd happen. its all the cause of TRUST. its such a strong yet hurtful word. its all too late now. i rmbr asking myself once wht is th most regrettable thing i had in my life. if one day, shld it really fail, thn i hv an ans it.

i sometimes really hate hw fickle minded am i, causing trouble for myself. shldnt it be like one shld make th best decision for ourself? haha, im sucha joke.

had dinner w p & frens last night. and alvin says i slim down!!! ^^ hope i can maintain! hate th fatty meee. all of them are like hungry ghost! complaining hungry even aft dinner. went macs for icecream and chocolate melts. its been a wk plus and i still dont know! hw can! i like chocolate so muchhhh. home aft tht w a heavy bag of fruits! took a cab in th end cos sis says mum's waiting for me and th fruits is really horribly heavy! cnt imagine if th bag breaks or smth ._. lol.

work tday as usual. i forced myself to wake up and go work earlier thinking tht i can finish earlier and acc th boy. but i end up dint hv to! otw hm nw and shall go for a run if sis wans t accompany me!

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nana's 19th/farewell

work on tuesday was kinda fun cos of those colleagues thr lol. keep me entertained! but jus when i tot my workload is decreasing, i hv more work adding on ahhhh. but nvm! tht means i earn more too! ^^
wed was rotting at hm and took an afternoon nap before my day starts... marche for dinner and powerhouse w th schmates for nana loves' bday/farewell! was kinda reluctant at first and it made me think for some time :( wldnt want to go if its nt bcos of nana! took care of tht gal for almost th whole night until i had a terrible headache frm smelling those ciggs and im being took care of instead haha. kinda glad tht these and th previous grp of frens i went with were all v gd! they dont enjoy and don bother bout their frens! (Y)
injured myself too while taking care of nana cos she's so hyper tht i cldnt bother much wht is in front of me. so painful! :( boo!
even had bruises ard it nw! left at ard 2plus and had macs thn cab home w 2 jurongwest-ers and 1 bukitbatok-ers! lol!
slept for less than 2 hours and had to get up for driving alre! hhah i think i can drive better w/o slpg! my parking improved and shut th tchr's mouth up! did a few only he thinks its gd and left for road drive. but he's still th same being an asshole, th next lesson is 2 wks later zz. pekchek!
k i gotta catch some slp nw and wake up to study for sat's paper! wish me luck! :)
and before ending th post..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA LOVES!

please stay strong and smile more! im waiting for th happy cheerful and active nana to be bck! <3

i woke up missing u terribly and feeling kinda lost. i dontknow if i shld or not.


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so vexedddddd

its mondayyyy! *yawns. woke up and prepare for work already. but changed my mind aft tht and decided to go to sch instead to register for my supp paper this sat cos im nt sure if tday is th last day! tht stupid email is so messy grr no one will uds wht are they trying saying!
th weather tday is so hot like as if its on fire. cnt stand this kinda weather! wish everywhr has got aircon!! k im dreaming :p
guesa im gonna skip running tday!! hw to run when i don even feel like stepping out of th house!
th boy is sure gonna nag me :/
im so broke recently! so sad to see my bank decreasing everyday :( mum's 40-50 a wk couldnt even last me for th whole wk! i alre need 20 for travelling! :< everywk keep negative hw can my bank nt decrease tsk! miss sch days! days when i get richer and richer! boo!
wkends were over too fast in a blink of eye. th boy sprained his leg when he booked out on sat! hw silly can he be? he text me until fell into th drain!!! zz lol. cnt stop laughing when i see him!! for th fact tht he fell into th drain cos he was texting instead of tripping to smth lol! gd thing his parents managed to convince him to chinese physician and yay it's better nw :)
though its a stuck hm day but, i like hw rot tgt in ur arms!! :)) wished th day wont end..
jp on sun w th boy cos he had to collect his race pack for a race on sun. shopped a lil thn bck t p's for dinner n rest before he book in!
had another fren just broke up over th wkends.. sighh. what is happening lately, srsly? im much more affected nw :( i seem t hv phobia towards these kinda things nw! damn :<

hahaha. th 'fell into drain' cnt make me stop laughing!

so poor thing!

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something about love

love is suppose to be beautiful, i thought?
being in love and being loved is suppose to be smth happy.
you hv someone t share ur unhappiness, ur happiness, ur problem, be thr for you, doing things together, etc.
but no, i see love being complicated more than anything else. why ah?
why must ppl complicate it when it can be very simple? 好好爱不是没事？thn have a happy ending. why must any one be greedy be playful and hurt another? seriously i dont get it and i can never get it.
i seem to be v against about love lately ._. im too afraid of losing, im too afraid things'd go out of hand. i dread hearing/knowing things are nt the same anymore or th love is fading or the distance is drifting too apart and so on.
but im probably worrying too much, making things worse. im really helpless and lost! D:
ive been ranting abit too much lately :(

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confused.

kept having mixed feelings lately and ive no idea why :( but im like so upset most of the time. why ah. princess is suppose to be a happy gal! not lik that! i miss being very cheerful and active like th past w/o worrying anything :(
i was knocked hard with what was happening lately. and all i can feel was being worried + upset. tht kind of feeling is just hard to describe.

i miss you, p.
i want your big hug.
i want to watch tv in your arms.
i want to snack w you.
i want to see you smile.
i want to look at you from the side when you're driving.
i want to eat with you.
i want to finish the last spoon of food with you.
if only u can teleport frm tekong to here now and give me a hug! :(


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i miss you, badly.

its only tuesday! and i alre felt like ive nt seen th boy for a week. :(( i miss you like x1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 u noe?!?!
work wasnt gg well tday! i spent half of my time thr waiting. waiting and waiting. forever waiting. hai.
creative w sis ytd mrng thn dad jus drop us at westcoast before gg off for some errands. trimmed our brows and home ourselves! had macs for brunch! :))

i'll try to make things right. i need you more than air when im not with you. i just cant get enough of you.

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bastards..

bastards fooling bhind their gf ought to be shot dead. srsly. worse, when caught still acting blur. wtf?
has fooling bcoming a trend nowadays? or isit just their forte, but we just dint realise it till nw. ppl thinking tht there are still gd guys out thr are definitely naive, and i fall under tht catogary. fish them. why want to do things lik tht to hurt ur galf?
calling another gal, texting another gal, going out w another gal, clubbing unethically. what nonsense are these??
dont make sense at all. these are definitely too much. clown. jokers. making a fool only.
have alre one pri sch fren commit suicide cos of love. why?
and another caught her boyf fooling. what is happening??
in th first place don even get a galf if u wan to fool.
when caught, jus be truthful, cos u'll get a high chance being forgiven. hateful tards :(
i cnt emphasize hw angry i am, hurting much. i know hw it feels. i totally felt it before.

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asdfghjkl

its 12pm nowwwwww! and im still nua-ing on my bed! :/ i dowan to wake up cos i dunoe wht to do :( th weather looks hot for me to go for a run. ahhh. someone kill me pls. non stop whining! k la shut up.
was all dressed up, planning t hit th town for hangover 2 and probably a lil shopping ytd but as usual la failed, sian. th boy looks v tired aft kayaking and if i still pulled him along i'd be really inhuman. always did planning but things wont work according to it. shall not plan anything th nxt time, before i disappoint myself. went amk hub instead for fairprice shopping, some window shopping and koi. k la, at least satisfy my craving for koi! saw this bedrm slippers at artbox so cutesy! :( shall get it th nxt time! really like it alot. had been trying to find a nice one! home at 11plus and thr goes my sat &
sun. hai. nxt week's another busy weekend. and still counting.. *yawns
upset for almost th whole day when i noe i cant meet th boy tday cos he had t book in early. but thr's nth i can do. could only watch my day gets nearer n nearer to ending. hai. first wkend is always v impt to me cos it is just like a making up time for building what's lacking/missing in tht 2 weeks. but no, always fail.

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sian ahhhhh.

i donoe hw many times hv I repeated this 2 words! :/
im so in love w them both! and I cnt decide :(
both, can?

I'm still nt aslp despite feeling kinda tired! and I'm a lil hungry instead! grrr. so engrossed w angrybird tht I think I won't stop if I dint receive th boy's text! kills time and boredom! no driving tmr, shld I go t work? :( no right? its flydayyyyy! I'm just too lazy! D:
I just told myself just nw tht I must be a happy gal tnight. I want a happy flyday! I want to happy until I can fly! and nw, I'm feeling restless again. I sense smth nt right.. ohwell. I'm not surprised. my fridays are screwed ever since I dunoe when. bahhh.
Nana ah nana. When are u coming bck! I want to talk to you badly!! I want to share all my angry's, upset's, and happy's( is thr even any? ) with you!! :(
I want to eat scooby doo with u! and look and laugh at the cartoons before putting them in our mouth! I want to finish them up like hw u keep asking me to! I want coloured tongue aft eating! ohmanz!

不开心时，谁知道？
不开心时，谁能了解？
不开心时，谁能给我肩膀靠？
如果连自己也不要帮。。 那， 谁也帮不了你！

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whts wrong w me :(

as usual me overslept and snoozed for an hour again zz! waking up in th mrng seems to be a problem to me nw :(
reached office a lil later tday cos th train was so crowded and stuffy tht it made me v uncomfortable! i couldnt breathe properly at all. wanted to try enduring and see if ill feel better but it just got worse only! and worse felt like shitting! lucky i made th decision of alighting to get sm rest first before continuing my journey. went t th nearest toilet and refresh myself, felt so much better! bck t board th train and th feeling was bck again but it wasnt tht bad this time! so scary! cnt imagine what'd happen if i continue th journey! work. home. dinner. and here i am waiting for th boy. think im not lazy to update only when im waiting :p
daddy's an asshole this evening!
i was washing th dishes aft dinner. and they saw something princess on th tv.
and daddy said 'princess'
'yes, u calling me?'
'princess need to wash th dishes one meh'
cnt stand him!
was feeling rather upset these 2 days and ive no idea why! :( grr. just couldnt feel happy and my everday seems gloomy...

'if u really love someone, u'd do anything for him/her. even if tht is the least enjoying thing, u'd still do without complaining'

too good! :)

th boy made sunday a good one! with everything planned nicely and a surprise :) so rare of him ._. lol. and th day goes....
he booked out in th mrng and LIE to me tht he needs to meet someone for a short while. but he actually spent an hour going taka to get me a nike running tights, a sports bra and a sunflower! heh. thn back t cine cathay to get movie tickets for kungfu panda! thn... he came t look for me. he keep smiling and smiling the moment we met outside th corridor all th way t th carpark! i tot he v happy see me LOL. thankyou, b for th efforts! (: appreciated!<3
we headed back to p's for lunch and of cos rest for himself! poor boy dint hv a proper slp for th previous night cos he's on duty! and th v active him obviously dint manage to slp ._. had dinner and we headed to cine for movie! late again! hahah. i rmbr we used t be kinda punctual way bck before! but we're always late recently! :p shopped a lil aft th movie and back home! :)) ended our day shopping ntuc fairprice finest at tripleone somerset! lol! buying toothpaste toothbrush and maggie! hahaha so retarded cnt stop laughing whenever i tot of it! 'i go orchard ntuc' hshha sound stupid manz!
kept feeling dehydrated these days! :( no amt of water is enough!! mommy says i might be falling sick soon! noooo D:
omggg jus realise i dint publish my post this evening!
im so tired tday tht i cnt stop yawningggg. tired tired tired! fell aslp right aft dinner!! and mummt woke me up twice :/

you dont know..

driving was bad tday :< can feel like im hopeless t the instructor alre.. so badly affected tht i cant drive properly.. no wonder ppl always says dont drive when u dont feel alright. mood affects driving alot.. :< hai.
was feeling so damn annoyed last night :@ and mum had t add on keep pressing me abt my degree. i srsly dowan to study for th sake of you and for the sake of money. i wan to study bcos i really want to. only lik tht thn will i enjoy studying and put my heart into it. money sometimes dont hv th power to force myself to do certain things.
really need t quickly get a job and decide my route again..
nth is right. nth is perfect. im willing to giv in, forgive and forget. but are you willing to change?
thankyou b, for all those sweetie words last night. it kind of made me cheerup and smile though it made me teared. thankyou for assuring me you're with me no matter what happens, where i am. i love you always and as much. and im glad you're facing ur NS positively now and at th same time having to make me happy i noe its not easy. thankyou my love. thankyou my pillar. thankyou for standing strong. thankyou for letting me know i still hv you to rely on. thankyou, my awesome boy <3

brrr

im freezing in th office!!! my week started good! cos i had dinner w th p on mon <3
working for cousin at AIA since monday! i like work here! free and easy :p and always no one else is ard! can slack a lil when i feel tired! hehe. my diet is back being unproper :( had only a meal a day and th rest of th day i survived w a bread and a cup of milo. will i slim down like tht?? hahahh. hate th fatty me :< seeing th boy so hardworkingly running makes me v v v v guilty! :/ hehe.
so upset tht i din manage t th clutch frm hh! so scary! its sold out like within 3secs? i camped for 15mins before th launch!! :( k nuff said. back t work!
hehe and received a one word text frm th boy just!! happy much! <3

last day of sch!

yupp, friday is officially th last day of sch!! cool or wht. heeee. been awaiting this for v long! had th last paper and th classmates decided to hv th last gathering at neverland tht night! oh guys.. they really go nowhere except drinking! smth tht always came to their mind first.. it was a really short time for me to decide whether to go anot when I knew it was a class gathering instead of just an outing w th clique! and worse w ftt th next day!
was really struggling on my way home. my phone cnt hv peace! classmates keep texting and asking each other! lol! and some trying hard to physco me to go! was v halfhearted, srsly :( yes, bcos its th last gathering! really definitely nt gonna meet again until probably on th streets one day coincidentally? hhaha. and no, bcos of th boy, and ftt! got a reply frm th boy and felt rather relieved :) thankyou p! till nw still feeling a little guilty even though I've went! cos th boy and momsy were really worried tht night! :( and yet I felt satisfied tht I went, hahaha. was really fun! cos of all th different side of ppl we see and they were really funny! few frens and I drank only a little and we were all watching show and laughing at ppl! lol! played games + take photos + watching the drunk clowns and th time passed amazingly fast! th boy texted jess nt to let me drink too much aft we reach some time. too sweet <3 <3 hehe. th boys were really horrible gg such place, I pity their galf :( hai. too much. left th place at ard 2am and had prata for supper at 3am! wasted almost an hour bcos of 2 clowns! vomitting non stop and they really cmi la. cnt walk properly and nt sober, wa cui. lmao. ended up hving t send them hm and wasted more time which results to me reaching hm quite late at abt 4am!! :(
thankful t tht sweet couple jess & jeff came to pick me and send me home too! too good ^^ hehehe.
and I really see th awesome side of frens ard me aft tht night! :))
they really caring manz! constantly checked if I'm fine throughout th night.
few others were asking if I'm hm yet even though they know fren is sending me home. and 2 were texting me this mrng t check if I'm awake for my ftt!! and one of them is treshie!! hehehe ty all my awesome fwens!! <3
another one funny sia. hvn start my ftt ask if I passed alre nt lol! ganjiong only!
heng I passed my ftt w tht little time spent studying or rather as good as nvr study! haha. all I studied were kinda useless :( dint come out lol. don't even noe what I'm studying. It was supposed to be a good and happy news. but it apparently dint turn out to be :(
mum picked me up at jurongeast station and home. ate brunch, picked sis and off to causewaypoint to collect smth frm her fren! :) shopped a lil and dint get th cute bedsheet for th boy cos I was really tired to walk bck and get it :( shall get it another day! home. dinner. and I fell aslp! tht explains th awake me nw! boo :(
missing th boy much. yet I can't do anything. sigh.
why no surprise bookout? :(
distance btwn us seems to be wider every each time. grrr.
hate this hate this hate this! hw many more times of these to go?! hai.
hahaha I just realise I took one and half hour just for this damn post lol!
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driving in the mrng at 8am! goddddddd. damn early! im so tired frm doing the parking again and again! park till i really feel like slpg :( home and town with sissy on tuesday! went sch to hand in my assignment and shun bian go shopping abit w sissy! hehe. had marche for brunch. shopped at 313 for awhile and home as sissy bought smth frm ikea and they're coming at ard 3! met mum in the bus and hm tgt. hungry again and i cooked sme maggie! :/ and napped!! haha totally feel like a pig! but im really tired :( woke up, and had dinner thn bck to slp again! lol!
woke up nearly 1pm on wed! heh. pig i noe. but im really tired lah! everyday like not enough slp thn keep procrasinating my tiredness. okay enough complaining! hahahh. went down and bought brunch w sissy. played my iphone the rest of the time till im tired and napped again! hahahah.
woke up late again this mrng! lol! cooked brunch for sissy and myself. studied, thn decided to go opposite market to walked ard and see whats thr! bought a few things. home. dinner and continued studying! hope ill do gd! ftt on sat :( have not started yet too! haiii.
had been taking late night shower these few days despite the cooling weather! but the wind is making me sticky :( k bye! shall continue studying!
its fri tmrrrrrr leh! tsk! normally i'd meet the boy for dinner or if not will be looking forward excitedly to meet him on sat! but nooooo! boo! :( why must hv confinement :((( sucks! miss th boy much <3

haven been updating! omgz :/
its kinda productive for the past few weekends.
went kayaking on of the both weekends! hehehe. passed my 1star!! cannot help but to laugh how i want to chicken out when i knew we had to do smth rather challenging but i still manage to overcome it!! thanks to th boy and my new made fren thr!! :)) she's always thr to tell me i can do it and non stop cheering for me when i did it! teehee. nice gal! badly bruised over my hands and legs, hands badly burnt too!
went RSAF open house aft the last day of kayaking! its crazyyyy, not bcos of the open house. but its bcos of the after! imagine aft the 2 day course and we had to walk from paya lebar air base to the nearest tai seng station. plus im having a bad ache and was feeling rather tired tht day! siao man! zzz
had a pretty long weekend w the boy! he booked in on tues night and booked out again on thurs evening! lol! shiok ttm! heeee. as usual met the boy for dinner tht night. and th next day, we met to hv brunch. sch aft tht as i hv lesson. the last day of sch!!! (Y) the last day ended good! hehehe cos i hv th boy to send me to sch and pick me up frm sch! :p took photos with the classmates too :))
went SIM open house on saturday. was supposed to watch movie and shopping at town cos of GSS but yeah, unfornately it failed! whats new? ended up rotting and did a little work.
accompanied the boy to his leg and paddle race on sun mrng. and hahahah it was raining damn heavily! LOL! race haven start rain alre! suay or what? swear i was freezing while waiting for th boy to go get umbrella from the car! zz we left when the rain got heavier and had breakfast w p and fren. thn bck to p's! dinner at night with p & the usual grp of frens. thn holland v and home!
met the boy this mrng and had breakfast. thn continue doing my uncompleted work. the boy received a call and had to book in early :( so sudden and rushing la! omgz. hai. still tot we could go catch a movie or a short shopping trip.. oh well :( sian!! ended our last day lik tht. how can?! he's goona be confined again for 2 weeks!!! ahhhh!! hate this period of time! boo! :(
okayyy, shall upload my pics another day!
just finished my assignment and i need to go bathe nw!
bye!

lost

I miss you, I really do.
But I've no idea what shld I do.
What can I do.
I miss you saying u miss me.
I miss you saying u love me.
very much.

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disappointing..

its back to tht unbearable period again. why? I tot all's well, all's good. and just when I was about to enjoy and feel good all over again, im cant.
I really need to sit down and think what actually went wrong. but guess I still won't get anything in th end.

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sad day, really!

otw to sch nw and gg on a koi + fairprice date w sissy! hee <3 can't wait!
Oh, and its daddy bday tday! I think its his... 49? hahah. So old already! But I wish daddy'd stay as young and handsome! hehe.
happy bday dad! <3

school in th mrng yday. was kinda restless. cos I'm tired :( prac aft tht. late! zz. lesser time to learn! wasn't driving properly too :( keep making th teacher angry! really have no idea what happen to me! he made me drove round and round until I got it right. we thn drove to a petrol station nearby and he went for a toilet break. used tht short time to get myself ready all over again and yeah, I think its getting a little better. I was so tensed up tht I could feel my toe totally numb aft that. Boo! :(
trained and took th opposite direction. and thts not all! wanted to get watermelon soy milk from mr bean but I order papaya instead. dunoe what's wrong w me! k nuff said for th sad day I had!

weekends w th p is short and messy. hai. but fri night is always the best :) dinner tgt, tv and home ^^ town on sat was really walking aimlessly la. thn th boy got to book in at 5.30. and we met only the next day ard 4! but we did nth much.

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那个你。。

那个最爱我的人
那个最体贴的人
那个最关心我的人
那个出处为我着想的人
那个害怕让我伤心的人
那个不管发生什么事也难不倒他的人
那个没有脾气让我羡慕的人
那个在做任何事情前都会想到我的人
那个为了我的笑什么都会做的人
那个在我遇到困难时会鼓励我的人
那个完美的人
你在哪里？
回来好吗？
我好想你。。

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不开心！ :(

a week just zoomed past very fast! everthing was going alright at home. we're kinda got used to th location. well, it wasnt that bad though..

p is still in confinement week but we could still meet one of th weekends! :D i like hw th surprise bookout always happens! :))

public hols ytd! th boy and i went ob a date! ((:
macs for our brunch and we both finished a box of 20 pieces spicy nuggets! lol. over to dhoby t get tix for movie umizaru and town for shopping! p got a new shirt and i got my nike running sensor :) more motivated to run now but i still couldnt find a right place to run thr :( am still new! bck to p's for dinner and rested before we head over to bishan to return th boy's book and get koi!! hehe :)) & home!
--
hai. i see many issues coming up slowly and i hv no idea whether hw shld i feel. but i cannot forget abt it and pretend nth had happen. cos as days goes by, things will start to deteriorate

yay to air con!

busybusybusy! so busy w assignment, and moving of house! moved on sun to uncle's house at boonlaydrive.
yay, I got my iphone w th p on sat! like finally :D hee. thankyou boy! we had to do everything fast, cos th p had only few hours and he had to book in!
up early on sun mrng t do th last packing of stuffs. kinda glad everything went well. but we still forgot smth ahha. was in th midst of moving and I received a text frm th boy tht he's booking out!! omg yay!! butttt, I had things to do :( luckily I finish eveRything fast, and cab over to meet th boy! :) it wasn't as bad as I thought cos my cab fare was 15! Just 2bucks more than usual :o but it takes almost the same time when I'm at westcoast? :) hee. Happy! Got th boy to get me food cos I've nt eaten a single thing since mrng! and he cooked maggie for both of us. we were both damn glued to angry bird cos of me! Hahah. Tht boy is even worse! Play until lazy to do anything, nt even ironing his own clothes for booking in! Hahah. Cute or what? (: that's my boyf for u! was kinda glad tht I still get to see th boy. But I missed him alre! :(
slept without aircon tht night, and 4 person were sharing a standing fan. aweful night. it was horrible! we were sweating and slpg, ohgod! Dad even slept on the floor outside th room near th door, and mom on th floor inside th room. lol. so glad tht its alre mrng cos I dowan to slp in such a state anymore later! haha.
left for sch at abt 7.45 for class at 9am. and I was so amazed!! 502A Express bus is cool! It took me only 35mins to reach sch at town from boon lay drive! :o but th fare cost a bomb! $2.27! shall take th normal one if I'm less tired and I can wake up early! haha.

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Mc!

was feeling rather uncomfortable and weak on wed, so I decided to see the doctor's and get mc! was suppose to have a gd rest and recover quickly, but I ended up doing work and packing stuffs for house moving on sun! :(
had my first driving lesson on thurs!! kinda excited! mummy insist tht I shld just cancel it if I'm nt well! But I don care! Haha. And thankgod, I was feeling kinda okay. And only feel a little unwell in the midst of th lesson :/ I hope th teacher doesn't mind me coughing and sneezing! Heee. First prac kinda fun! Lots of funny things!! Hahaha. I shared w mumdadsissy when I'm home and they laughed at me! :( lol.
- I dint noe tht I had to lift the hand break a little before pressing it down. I used one hand and tried, cannot. Use two hand still cannot! Thn I tried w two hands again. Still cnt! Almost wanted to ask hw. Thn the teacher taught me tht. Hahaha.
- I like one scarycat and I go at 20-30km/h.
- I cnt control hw much shld I accelerate and I step a little too much, and th teacher keep gg front and back. Hahaha. I really feel like laughing!
- I dint know tht I have to accelerate when turning! I'm so scared tht th car'd go out of control! Haha. Thn th teacher kept asking me to accelerate! LOL!
- I mixed up reverse and driving when I ganjiong! Haha.
- when I was doing reverse, the teacher say right, I left. Left, I right. Hahah! I really cnt stop laughing at myself!
and a few more! hahah. Okay, I need to stop laughing at my stupidity!
I went sch aft tht to do my presentation. I wasn't really doing! Haha. I just slacked and steal a little nap cos I was really feeling bad! My face were all red and my head was really painful! Thankgod, it ended soon, and I cabbed hm! :))
th boy's in confinement week nw! but he's gonna book out for a short while tmr for election. can't wait to see him! hee. haven had th chance t hear his voice lately :( guess he's busy w those recruits! Excited and can't wait for tmr! big hug and kiss pls! Heee.

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good yet sick weekend!

had 3 days long w th boy. and I kinda felt satisfied :) hee. everyday was quite well utitiised.
sat;
had crab! th chef p's cooking!! hahaha. went market to get crab w th p. bck to p's. and we went farrer park to get th prima taste paste for th crab! back to p's again. and he started cooking! we rested as its still early. thn lunch. and rottt! th boy's tired and took a nap, and I mapled! hee. out in th late evening to town. was planning to get th phone! but there's 50 ppl waiting! which takes approx 3hours! so scary. gave it a miss. and went shopping. picked his bro up and bck to p's :) planned to even go dating at night, but tht pig seems tired n not feeling well! :(
sun;
woke up kinda late, really tired! had brekkie and maple-d! and th boy as usual facebook-ed and youtube bout th election. haha. showered and went amk to get koi and phone!! dint manage to get th phone cos th boy's 11B is in camp! hai. no fate ah! and koi was kinda crowded! luckily we manage to rush bck for dinner! hee :p
mon;
woke up having sorethroat too! first was th boy. and nw me too!! suppose to be breakfast w family and th p. but bcos we were all up late, its brunch alre! haha. went ghim moh market to nom, thn split aft tht. bck to p's. and he went for a haircut. thn bck again to rot. and cycling at ecp w p & frens! haven cycled for some time, so I had a hard time at th start :/ bck to p's aft tht, dinner and home! so glad tht we decided not to join th rest for dinner cos th boy's down w fever unknowingly!
woke up kinda late tday cos I'm really tired! showered and off to sch. still thinking if I shld eat :( my throat is baddd. and I'm feeling rather weakkkkk. I wanna slp!

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because I love you..

reason for everything I do,
reason for why I never gave up,
reason for why I've held on all these while,
reason for how I can forgive and forget,
reason for waiting no matter what it is,
reason for doing anything just for you,
reason for trying my best,
reason for giving my best,
reason for every single thing,
its all because I love you..

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sch's boring! :(

sch's such a boreeeee! wish I can skip sch! hai. so reluctant to go sch lately! anywww, finishing my dvd soon! can't wait to catch th last part :)
天天想你，是好是坏？

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don't understand why..

'You know a woman is truly hurt when she ignores you... silence is her way of handling anger and pain all at once.'
saw this, and I find it rather true.. whenever I'm upset, or angry, I'd just keep quiet. But its kinda hurting cos th other party will be upset too. :(

Was upset since ytd when I knew I had to bade goodbye w th p. time is really going way too fast.. I hate I hate I hate it la! why past so fasttt:( I want all th time w th p. everyweekend without fail I'd feel tht we dint spent enough time!! hai. wish we had a longer weekend.
dvd-ed th whole day tday with my itchy skin!! :(

why does it feels like though we cannot communicate well anymore? quarreling over small stuffs, and made both unhappy. :( hate this. whenever things got on th right track, I'd just wish for it to go on smoothly. thn it had to be other wise. why always like tht? hai.
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new header background! :>

Just changed my picture! Liked it too much! hahah. My boy looks awesome here!! But I don't :(
Will take a nicer one and change again!! Hehe.
Miss th p :( but yay I got a short call frm him <3
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rotrotrot! :<

I'm really rotting like nobody's business tday! class was cancelled bcos lecturer is on mc!! gd!! cos I had a hard time waking up tday, jus when I was abt to force myself up, got a text frm sch and yeah, back to slp :) up at ard 1pm cos I'm really hungryyy! and I shopped online all th way till nw, omg! need to stop!!! cos I'm broke! :(((( hahah. spending too much on clothes!
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boreeeed.

so bored on a sat w no p! :( hai.
spent my day slpg, eating, and shopping online!! th more time I hv, the more I wan to shop, th more I spend!! Boo :(

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exam! :<

p booked out on wed evening and had off on thurs (Y) so of cos yay to me! hahaha. satisfied my craving for koi! but nt our tanning trip :p feeling v lazy!! shall go really soon! :)) left my book at th p's when we're almost reaching my place. and he had to made th way bck to get it jus for my exam tmr and he drove scarily!! <3 <3 swear I was damn quiet throughout th whole journey! I'm so upset tht I caused th trouble! I'm so scared the way he drives!! thankyou b! loveyou tons.
I'm on my way hm in bus! w my stomach growling!! :( maggie from mrng till nw! hai. I wan food! I need food! Been eyeing at th fries on my lap for v LONG! Since I board th fries. Really can't wait to eat! Call me pig I dontcare! Hahhaha.
Faster sunday!! I wanna see th p! <3
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insomnia!

still awake !! omggg :( somebody knock some sense into my head pls. I still don't get it! I really need to sleeep! fishh.
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what's happening?

Everytime, during this period of time, I wld be up till late, thinking of unhappy stuffs and make myself upset. If only, our mind can contain only happy times, and forget abt th unhappy times.. if only people could be perfect, and nt make any mistakes. Yeah, I noe thts nt possible, sucha childish mindset. but who doesn't want?
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th awesome p <3

went sch to hand in my assignment and met nana for shopping aft tht! was super late cos I alight at the wrong station and I had a hard time searching for it! ohmanz. had our brunch somewhr near thr, thn shopping spree starts! bought 2 pants and a tube! we always had a hard time deciding th colours! hahaha. th p came and wanted to surprise me by roaming ard the street himself. but apparently he failed cos he can't find me! but I'm still happy! (: he have nt been doing such silly yet heart melting things for v long! hee. went BHG after tht and got 2 new bra! :)
thankyou, baby! <3
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heeee

I'm beside my darling p nw. and he's cooking me my dinner!!! hehehehehehe. so happy and feel so blessed! <3
Loveyouz, darlingz!
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Moody! :<

thanks to this bear w me, whenever I miss th p.

Sian ah! Missing th p real bad, and kinda restless. I'm tired but I jus can't slp!! Its fridayyyy! But I'm not quite looking forward to it! Hai :(
am so worried of th p la! pls get well. you're a soldier! you need to be strong!
gonna try to slp! creative w sis tmr mrng, gg for a run in th evening, and study for my upcoming btt! hope everything goes well! *cross fingers!
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sweet b (:

I like hw th boy's being a sweetie pie!! (Y) heee. cute and sweet! I think his hormones change ah! Haha :p suddenly so sweet these days! omg. loveyou, darling! thanks for making my day! :))
Anywww, its alre wed! time is really passing damn fast, or maybe, bcos my days were good, and I don't find them hard to pass. tht also means my btt is coming! and I still haven touch on it yet, tsk! :( really gonna start tnight!!
Cooked lunch for sissy and myself, cos I've been eating maggie ever since the last 2weeks almost EVERY single day! (Mon-wed)! I'm really gonna die of msg if I continue doing so! My diet had nvr been so unhealthy before! I mean, eating maggie this often! And I gets hungry v fast! like during th break time, always had to find food to eat! fat shit! Hahha. Jiejie came to pass me th running shoes ytd, I'm gg to runnnn!! But I don't really like the colour :( prolly gonna get the one tht p and I saw! :) hee.
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my weekend not quite fully utilise but, yet good :) met th p on fri, cos he went sci discovery centre w th recruits and came over in th early evening :) sat at my place for a short while and back to p's. was suppose to go for classmates's 21st, but cancelled. I'm lazy to go hm and jus spend th night at p's! slept till kinda late, both nua-ed when we woke up. hahah. silly boy went down to get me a contact lens case cos I had my lens on th whole night! dint really sleep well, cos I don dare to slp! :( eyes were v naughty on tht day, and I hv to be partially blind for a day! tv, rot, and I took a nap cos my eyes are reallyyyyyyy painful and red! steamboat for dinner w p and frens, home! :)
macs brekkie w th p on sun mrng, and toa payoh for koi and hunting for itouch casing. back to p's. lunch. loyang temple, and back to p's again! sunday has nvr been this productive before!
darling p was rather sweet this weekend, though he dint do anything special! hahaha. but can feel tht he's really gd to me! haven had this feeling for a long time! :p
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TGIF

I can't promise I'll be perfect, but I promise I'll give you my best.
yay, its friday! been waiting for long! ohyeah. excited max. onmyway home now! stupid hot weather! can't wait to reach home, hv a gd shower, rest and wait for th p to come over! :>
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Feeling good :>

I finally get to talk to th p last night. and I'm feeling kinda happy :)) I realise, I always miss him on a wednesday! thn when thurs comes, ill get all excited and waiting to know when and what time is he booking out, thn make plans to meet him and all! Its becoming like a routine!! hee.
went plazasing w nana & meiyi aft sch! ajisen ramen for late brunch and am on my way homeee! not much of a shopping tday! jus wanna meet and talk. haven met for really long ever since cny clothes shopping! gonna go on a shopping date soon! maybe next week? hee.
If only I have shopping allowance every month, wa hw nice man! shop at once and spend it all! shiooook! butt, I think thts kinda impossible hor? Boo! :(
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upset! :<

hai. so upset tht I really got no mood for anything. why isit tht this time it feels so distant and wierd. can feel th barrier. :(
sorry, b :(
really miss th p badly. boo! :<
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changing my mindset!

Stop looking back on the past, because no matter how you do, you can`t go back there anyway.
So why not work somthing out to make it better. It might be better than the past.

Yes, am changing my mindset, to make myself feel better, to make things not look that bad :)
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never felt so vexed before :<

I can no longer mask myself well. I'm being found out for being upset, troubled.
I'm a loser and I fail downright bad :)
This.is.me.
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why do promises leave out to reality eventually? :(
sissy went overnight fishing w frens! boringg, no one to disturbb! sian! haha.
suddenly feeling of gg on a cruise or batam to playyy. not exactly play, but yeah jus somewhere nice to relax and do nth. even more shiok if theres a nice beach :))

D:

I really wonder, hw did u actually do it without blinking your eye! it seems to be easy-peasy for you. ohdamn. suck, totally!
I feel like gg on a short getaway to batam! any public holiday??!! :(
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Scary :<

omg! I'm being followed by a sec sch kid this evening!! >:( so scary pls. what's w th world nowadays!! damn. so scared tht i ask mummy to go bus stop and acc me home!! haha.
so glad tht sch's been alright till now! new module on logistics!! finally! its alre wed tday! can't wait for fri and see th p! :>
love friday nights when we'll meet and hv dinner thn watch tv tgt ^^
so tired and sleepy now! and waiting for th p's text!! it already 24hours since i last communicate w him :( hai.
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th thing btwn boy and girl.

came across this blog and saw smth rather interesting. and I kinda agree to it too!
when boys want a breakup, they say :
1) We've drifted apart.
2) You'll find a better one. (Bullshit!) Its jus an excuse.
3) feelings fade.
4) I can't cope.
and etc.
come to think of it, most of th breakups when it was th guy who initiated it, mostly gave these reason.
haha why can't they just say 'I don't love you anymore'
Damn. Its kinda hurting to a gal. But, ohmy, reasons tht they gave just make a gal feel tht they're jus giving excuses!
Whereas gals. I think they're kinda more straightforward. They'd just ask for a breakup( I think so)
But, when gals say:
1) Feelings fade
2) Drifting apart.
Etc.
They actually said it bcos they care abt th r/s, yes? and they want to do smth t make it better instead of wanting a breakup. But guys'd normally think tht its th gals who doesn't love th guy as much anymore. Oh dear. Thts abt r/s. I realise tht, in a r/s there cnt be any cracks, bcos it'll be kinda unstable aft tht. But which r/s doesn't have? Well, I mean, once or twice, is still fine. But if th cracks gets deeper and more fragile, thn tht shows th th r/s is getting more fragile too! Sighh. but who wants tht, right? :(
If only every couple could sit down, face and talk every single problem and make up, thnn I think every r/s would be perfect!! :/ but, thts quite impossible, right? Thts th sad part :(
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hoho

im on mummy's iphone! haaa totally treat it as if its mine! put my login for twitter ebuddy as well! :p cant wait for it t be jail-breaked! thn can play more games!! im missing th p nowww! :(

I hope it maintains.

I'm glad tht its well now. and you finally speak up. I've been waiting for some time, and I know you definitely will.
felt rather guilty and disappointed tht I'm not thr for you when you needed me, when you're upset. sighh.
I won't ask for anything now. I just hope everything to be back on track and go on smoothly like how we used to.
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原来你什么都不想要

我什么都不想要，
只要你好好，久久爱我一个人。
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Nostalgic D:

I was clearing my other phone and looking through those text when we started dating p sent. I can't help but to really put on a wide smile on my face. Cos.. Those text were really sweeet. Nothing beats them. Telling me hw much u love me, showing hw much u cared bout me, showing me hw much u really want to be w me, showing me hw happy u are to have me and showing me hw much I mean to and of cos, many more. They were all simple and sweet. Till nw, I still cnt get it off my mind. Just tht could make me th happiest woman in th world, feels so princess-y. Well.. things definitely change aft some time.. buttt, I din expect it to be tht soon though.
was thinking bout some stuff last night cos I can't go to slp! what happened on sunday really cannot get off my mind. it was really heart breaking much. but I can't do anything. I was tearing on my journey back from pasir ris, and I was thinking through lots of things. all th things tht had happened, how we walked our journey through, etc.. I must say tht it wasn't a easy one. but, I still made it through and I'm still always v looking forward t meet th boy and feel really sad whenever we have to part for him to book in.
I kinda envy treshie & zk actually. and I really salute them. They've been tgt for really long and everytime I see them, they give me a feeling tht they just got tgt. I see tht as a successful r/s. :)
I hate hw I always like to procrastinate things and they all rolled up into a snowball nowww. It is not easy to break them down now. but I feel tht there is a need for smth. can someone tell me wht to do? boo :(
really miss tht boy much, sighh. but th thought of finally having a proper weekend bring me through th day :)) k exam tmr, I hope I do good! N I hope th p is booking out tmr! so I can see him!
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Happy 22nd boy! :>

took th whole of last week planning for p's 22nd, doing assignment and studying for exam! hurhur, I feel so smart to be able to cope! ^^
everything went well, only till p's bro and mum had to make things too obvious T.T omg, cnt stop complaining :( and th me who cannot handle this kinda things starts to panick and yeah obviously will tend to give a little of myself away. k wtv, but what matters most is th p enjoyed at th end of th day and seeing th smile on his face :) I know, he'll definitely be happy to be able to see his frens.
was really grateful to treshie & zk. they both really helped me a lot! <3 setting th chalet up, getting ready to surprise th p, gg town w me jus to go icing room t do th cake, and brainstorming th amt of food. heh.
but everything's over in a blink of eye! I dint hv enough fun! :p
kinda relieved when th boy was saying hw happy he was and hw much he like th pressie I got for him, esp th band!! :))
k I can't wait for th p to book out this weekend! I.WANT.TO.GO.ON.A.DATE.WITH.YOU. WE.REALLY.NEED.TO! I miss us holding hands walking th whole day long! so gonna plan th weekends to make it a fruitful one! gotta get a new thumbdrive for myself and th p, since I lost his! sis lost my first red harddisk, which was only less than a year old! :( uncle lost my 8gb thumbdrive! damn! :< so deprieved of one nw. still v upset over losing th p's thumbdrive! our zoo, uss and when we first started's photos! ohmannnn. :< maybeeeee, we shld go again one day? :p my jurassic park water ride!! hahahah.
anddd, its th p's day tday! :>
gonna end my post withhhhhh,
Happy 22nd boyyy!
we're 3years apart again... :<
every year's tday, we're 3years apart. every year's nov, we're 2years apart! hahaha. I feel so retarded nw :/
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annoyed! :@

veryveryvery much annoyed by your behavior! omg -_-
so annoyed that i cant do anything now.
exam later at 2pm. totally not prepared.
For this mood, going for exam, i hope at least i get a pass, and im contented enough.

Upset! :<

haiz. im srsly v upset now! omg downright, I swear! why am I so forgetful?! why do I keep losing things! and worse, other ppl's things most of th time! grr omg. I shld just bang th wall and die! srsly... :((( I hope p is nt mad at me, omg. kept procrastinating to return it to him end up losing it, fml! :<
but I did all I could to find it. call th librarian, ask th librarian to call those ppl who uses th comp! Ohgoddd. Im thinking if I shld post notice ard th sch! maybe I shld!
Ok, enough of sad stories. some first half of happy story before tht thing happens and end my day sadly.
got few loots w sis from bodyshop warehouse sales! kinda regret not getting th fragrance.. smells rather nice!
went adidas aft tht, sis and I got a jacket each! mad broke le, srsly! managed to contact korkor, so 30% of disc!
yeah thts about it, onmyway home and dint see th thumbdrive in my wallet thn I realise it..
srsly upset!
I'm v v v v v v v v v v v v X100000000000000000000 or infinity sorry, p! I know tht won't help th thumbdrive t come bck, buttt, arghh I really dunoe wht to do! :(
I hope miracle happens!
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in a blink of eye, its thurs!! th p had fieldcamp th whole of this week. and im glad tht he'll be back tmr. you cannot imagine hw busy he is, and there's only malaysia network thr!!
sis had off on mon and tues. so we went creative on mon. thn shopping on tues!
hee finally bought the burberry bag!! we both walked up and down in the shop deciding which size to get and couldnt make up our mind! and sis is so unhappy now tht we had to get th small one!! cos th big one is really big! hahahah. mum changed her mind and sponsored us 200!! thn th rest sis and i split! kinda regret tht i dint buy it on my own now! opps. hahhah. really pretty! and its still resting in the dustbag now! went to look for the polo tees as well and i couldnt decide on the colour again! zz. gonna go w th p one day and ask him to decide for me! heee. but i bet end up, i still have to decide on my own.
k i got to finish up my brunch and go study! accountings exam tmr!
though i dont have school for 3 weeks, but i still have to hand in my assignment on every wed, and exam on fri! ohmanz, i hope i can cope!

I think of us, even when I'm with you.

sighh. how shld I start this post? I've no idea. But I just need to rant.
I feel th fragile-ness of this r/s.
I feel th stranger-ness of this r/s.
I feel th silence of this r/s.
I feel th v dead 'ambience' in this r/s.
I feel tht we're really drifting apart for real.
I feel everything negative.
I even felt tht it might go anytime.
Isit th negligence, lack of communication or what? I really can't think of any other reason.
Why did it become like tht? :(
We used to be v sweet, v close, happy and all.
There's totally no commitment, no excited-ness, no nothing..
Talking abt commitment, what's a r/s w no commitment? makes sense? yup, I was thinking abt it for almost th whole day. Its only less than 2years and there's alre no commitment. I really dare not foresee abt th days ahead. It will fall bad, definitely.
I always thought that these are th few v basic thing in r/s. But no, I'm wrong.
-Being truthful and having 100% of trust. No, not now, but it used to be.
-Avoid doing things your partner dislike. No, it doesn't seems like it. but, it used to be.
-Being th first one who came to his/her mind. Again, it used to.
-A simple yet sweet gdnight to end th day off and have a good night's slp. It used to.
Come to think of it, I haven had a good night's slp for a long time. I haven slept w a smile for a long time. really.
There are times when I really feel like giving up, but I keep myself going, telling myself tht tmr will be better.
When I wake up in th mrng, I'd wish tht it'd be good.
When I sleep at night, i'd hope that it'd be better tmr.
So tonight, im hoping tht it'd be better tmr :)
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sometimes... i really hate how i cant express myself whenever i wan to show someone concern and comfort them.. i really want to say smth to cheer them up and make them feel better. but yet all i could do is just listen to them rant. :(

what you've missed;

yes, these are what you've missed, though they might mean nth to you, i was being lame or retarded. but, i rmbr i used to share these w u before u go to bed or whenever i met w smth interesting during th day. but, now we dont. so coincidentally tht every time i have smth to share w u, on tht particular night, its either u're busy or tired, and you're off w just a gdnite text. you're always the first one i think of, whenever i have smth interesting, or things tht made me happy to share with immediately.
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th cutie bear;

i either wake up to them, or before gg to bed <3 onblur="try href=">when im back from i think sch or smewhr? :/ ;i was learning to eat vege! ;

bang the wall and die.

I.AM.REALLY.HOPELESSSSSSSSS. zzzzzz

i have so much things to do, but im not doing anything....
WHAT AM I DOINGGGG?!?!?!?! OMG. i feel so hopeless! i cant manage my time properly. i cant let my boyf see tht i truely care for him. i do nuts. i know nuts. i rot, slack, eat, slp my day through! can u see? im tht hopeless!
and theres nthg i can do now. i am hopeless, again.

definitely die terribly, if this goes on.
isit gonna be lik that for every of th period?
i thnk i only have myself to blame for today's.

I guess everyone enjoyed their vday ytd!! girls were holding onto flowers, boys holding onto jewellery bags in the streets!! all the pictures and all in fb and twitter! heee.
had dinner at popeyes w th p on sunday, cos he had nights out!! happy yet sad. can only see him for a short while :( but nevertheless, I still enjoyed tht few hours! better thn nthg right!! can't wait for th week to be over..
silly boy got me plushie roses with th same trick of me gg to th toilet and he went to get it!!
I'm still not updating... Ahah too lazy!!

It kinda sucks when you have words which you wanna say, but have the fear of losing it after saying them.
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filled w qns-

i'm kinda tired, but i jus can't go to bed! :( imissp, imissmyboyf, imissmydarling, imissmrleo, imissyouyouyou! omgggggg. I feel so bloody uneasy!
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dead

omgggg, my blog is so so so very dead! so busy w cny helping mum these few days! and busy w sch for the past weeks. can't wait for cny! but on a side note, I don't quite! cos things were not gg well! :( I got a big pimple/or wtv it is just btwn my mouth and nose, and its still not gg away before cny :( ugly max!! and my fringe haircut was screwed too!! abit too short :( grr. I'm jus looking forward to spending time w th p. cos right aft cny on mon, its again 2 weeks of confinement!! boo :( thn aft tht for few consecutive weeks p's gg kayaking on both weekends till evening! as good as no weekends! okay, I shall stop complaining. I just dyed my hair again on my own! Hope it will be good! K ill be back w my uss post and cny aft cny! 2 weeks of holiday frm mon!! ^^ can't wait to wear my cheongsam!! hee :p
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really dunoe hw long more can I hold, I'm always very tempted to say it out cos I really cnt endure anymore!! :(
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something or nothing?

Im seriously feeling tired.. mentally and physically. tired but yet can't get to slp is th worse thing ever. hate this th most. but sometimes i just want to be tired, thn have a gd sleep aft being tired.. sound retarded, yes. im really lost and i still come to a decision aft so long. things doesn't seem to get any better. can i take a short break from everything? and I really mean EVERY thing.. really relax, stay away from everything, sit down and think through. maybe I really shld..
have a lot to blog abt for the past few weeks but I can't find a time to! need to get it up soon!
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